About the author ...........................................   8
Preface ...........................................................  11
Part I: Before the war.The draft ...................   15
Military induction center ..............................   19
Military basic training ...................................   22
The sea voyage  .............................................  32
Part II: During the war.Bearcat ....................   36
Rach Kien ......................................................   43
At the beginning ............................................  43
The mammoth firefight .................................  50
Brushes with deadly snakes, leeches ...........  57
Cong killer ......................................................  61
The outpost ....................................................  67
Medical rescue ...............................................  70
Suicide missions ............................................  73
Predestination ...............................................  77
Battle fatigue .................................................  82
The out-of-body experience..........................   83
The concept of man .......................................  93
The evacuation ..............................................   96
Part III: After the war.Long Thanh mash .....  101
Third Army Hospital ......................................  106
106Th Army General Hospital ......................  110
​Walson Army Hospital ................................... 112
Walter Reed Medical Center .........................  117
Return to civilian life ...................................... 123
Mosquito phobia ...........................................  127
Harming oneself ............................................  130
Mental surrender ..........................................  131
​Part IV: Epilogue ............................................  133